Don’t Hedge Around

by Career Coach Cathy Groos

TALK TIPS
(Coaching Tips to dramatically improve how you are heard and perceived)

Talk Tip:  Don’t Hedge Around
“It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much”
~Yogi Berra

Ever had the situation where you made a recommendation, lots of ideas get discussed, someone later makes the same recommendation you made earlier and everyone says “Dave, that’s a great idea!”  You are sitting there wondering “hmmm when I made that recommendation, did I not say it out loud?”

You could be a victim of “Hedging Around”.

One way of looking at hedging is like the quote above, except you are the one talking too much---at least using too many words.  Have you heard yourself saying something along the lines of?
•    “This may not be right but…”
•    “You may have already talked about this, or thought of it but…”
•    “I know I’m new and everything but…”
•    “I’m not the expert on this…”
•    “Is it alright if I ask a question…?”
•    “I don’t mean to interrupt; I just wanted to make a point…”

All of the above, and statements like them are called ‘hedges’.  I mentioned hedges just plain put too many words in your sentence.  MORE IMPORTANTLY, hedging takes the edge off of what you are saying.  Sure it takes the edge off for you, maybe a statement or opinion is easier to deliver if you hedge.  BUT…hedging takes the edge off of what you are saying…for them.  You are self sabotaging when you hedge---you are giving the listener permission to stop listening.  You don’t need to take the edge off of your statements. 

•    First of all I bet you are not an annoying or abrasive person to begin with, so you don’t need to soften
•    Second, what you have to say is of value, so say it.  Edge is good!
•    Third, too many words = people stop listening.
•    Fourth, you send a message of lack of confidence and credibility when you hedge. You almost can’t blame the listener when they stop listening, or at a minimum never seem to adopt your ideas

So this next week:
•    I encourage you to take a mental note this of the times you hedge when none is necessary. 
•    Turn a hedge into an assertions
o    “I know I’m new and everything but…” becomes “I recommend…”
o    “This may not be right but…” becomes “Consider…”
o    “I’m sorry to bother you, I was wondering if I could get on your calendar?” becomes “Can I get on your calendar?”
o    And so on!

Once you become aware of the ‘habit of hedging’, and replace hedges with assertions you will feel your confidence grow.  Watch and see, you will immediately, in that moment, feel your confidence grow!
~Enjoy the experience~